Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
