And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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