So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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