Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
