I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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