Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
