Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Randomize