dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
