I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize