I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
