Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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