girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
