scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
