maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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