Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
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