i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
is that a dick in a sweater?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
