It's like God shit irony all over that family
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize