I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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