yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
