I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
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