You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
