so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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