Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
