Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
