'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
