jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
