We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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