I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
