Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
