I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
