Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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