your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
