So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
need another drink. this is the easiest way
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize