found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
