You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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