I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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