he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Randomize