can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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