But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
