To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
