Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize