I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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