I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
