Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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