yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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