If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Randomize
