Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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