I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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