he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize