She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
