Grow some girl-balls and come out already
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
