I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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