Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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