Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
