i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
