i would punch a child for taco bell
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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