no, he came in my armpit
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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