Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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