Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
