Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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