Pappa wants mamma naked
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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