well most of my day revolves around power hour
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
