i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
